Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
