they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
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Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
is it fun? or sober?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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