the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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