Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
