you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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