dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was a blind-side dick pic.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating