I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
