Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(931): View more from Tennessee

dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...

(413): View more from Massachusetts

how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....

(843): View more from South Carolina

I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.

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(661): View more from California

Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

It was a blind-side dick pic.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating

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