you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
