i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
why do cheetos always look like penises
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
