Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
