Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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