God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
