Nicole vs. Life
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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