I skipped work to stalk him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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