Are we in a gay sports bar?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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