Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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