why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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