no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
