Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
