do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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