Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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