Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
