Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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