Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
