you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
