the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
