I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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