just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So much rum. So many feels.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
