HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize