Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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