Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
