oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
