i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
