You can't special order awesome
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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