Welp...herpes.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
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I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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