just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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