sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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