I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
