Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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