that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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