still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
