Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
