I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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