Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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