Pass out mid-funnel last night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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