I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
