Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
