how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
