Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
