I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
