I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
