dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
