We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
