Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
