Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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