found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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