3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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