I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
