Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
