just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
