he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
