I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
