my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
